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The Product is... |
and the Label says... |
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A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow |
"Not intended for highway use." |
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A 5-inch fishing lure with three nasty steel
hooks |
"Harmful if swallowed." |
|
A Bathroom Heater |
"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." |
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A Battery |
"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." |
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A CD player |
"Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult." |
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A Car Jack |
"For lifting purposes only." |
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A Children's cough medicine |
"Do not drive car or operate machinery." |
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A Cordless Phone |
"Do not put lit candles on phone." |
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A Halloween Batman costume |
"This cape does not give the wearer the ability to fly." |
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A Hammer |
"Caution: Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object." |
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A New Zealand insect spray |
"Not tested on animals." |
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A TV remote controller |
"Not dishwasher safe". |
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A Television Owner’s Manual |
"Do not pour liquids into your television set." |
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A VCR box says |
"Instructional video on hooking up your VCR included." |
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A bottle of shampoo for dogs |
"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." |
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On a bottle-top of a flavored milk drink |
"After opening, keep upright." |
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A box of Nytol® Sleep Aid |
"Warning -- May cause drowsiness." |
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A box of birthday cake candles |
"DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity." |
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A box of rat poison |
"Warning: Has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." |
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A camera |
"This camera only works when there is film inside." |
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A can of air freshener |
"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers". |
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A can of self-defense pepper spray |
"May irritate eyes." |
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A can of windscreen de-icing spray |
"Spray works in sub-zero temperatures." |
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A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard |
"Do not drive with sunshield in place." |
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A cartridge for a laser printer |
"Do not eat toner." |
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A computer mouse |
"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." |
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A container of underarm deodorant |
"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." |
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A dishwasher carries this warning |
"Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher." |
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A helmet mounted mirror used by USA cyclists |
"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." |
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A hotel-provided shower cap |
"Fits one head." |
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A household iron |
"Never iron clothes while they are being worn." |
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A hand-held massager |
"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." |
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A snow sled |
"Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions." |
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A hair dryer |
"Never use hair dryer while sleeping." |
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A massage chair |
"DO NOT use massage chair without clothing... and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving." |
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A package of dice |
"Not for human consumption." |
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A packet of juggling balls |
"This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA." |
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A popular manufactured fireplace log |
"Caution - Risk of Fire." |
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A prescription of sleeping pills |
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." |
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A rest stop on a Wisconsin highway |
"Do not eat urinal cakes." |
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A rubber ball toy |
"Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." |
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A sharpening stone |
"Knives are sharp." |
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A snowblower warns |
"Do not use snowthrower on roof." |
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A stick of Deodorant |
"Do not use intimately." |
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A sticker on a toilet at a public facility |
"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." |
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A string of Chinese made Christmas lights |
"For indoor or outdoor use only." |
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A toilet bowl cleaning brush |
"Do not use orally." |
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A baby stroller |
"Remove child before folding." |
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A pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists |
"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." |
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An electric router made for carpenters |
"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." |
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An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter |
"Do not use near fire, flame or sparks." |
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A package of nuts |
"Instructions - open packet, eat nuts." |
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An electric cattle prod |
"For use on animals only." |
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An electric thermometer |
"Do not use orally after using rectally." |
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A chainsaw |
"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." |
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A brand of Korean kitchen knives |
"Keep out of children." |
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A Microwave Oven says |
"Do not use for drying pets." |
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On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding |
"Product will be hot after heating." |
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A box of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert |
"Do not turn upside down." |
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A bottled water label |
"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." |
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A rock garden |
"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." |
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A .22 caliber rifle |
"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." |
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A Fruit Roll-Up snack |
"Remove plastic before eating." |
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A Tampax Tampons package |
"Remove used tampon before inserting a new one." |
Heard a good one lately? 
